The Pros and Cons of Single Motherhood

Motherhood is a beautiful thing; between the unconditional love and endless happiness your child gives you, you should be set for life. Granted it's not all butterfly kisses and unicorn farts, sometimes there are moments of utter frustration and despair. Hopefully, for all of my fellow mothers out there, the good outweighs the bad. 

On occasion, I envy those who have another parent in the picture to help out. I would assume things would be less stressful and busy, but how would I really know? 

Now to get down to the nitty and gritty. I'm absolutely not an optimist, more so when it comes to evaluating my own life. So I will start by listing the cons of being a single mom. 

1. There is no one to play Good Cop/Bad Cop with. 
Due to the fact that there is no other parent in the picture to help out as much, there are no roles to play individually as mommy and daddy. Unfortunately, as single mothers, we have to be the one who disciplines as well as the one who comforts and cuddles the child. I'm almost positive that being in that kind of situation would confuse a child growing up. It can be heart wrenching for both the mother and the child to have to be or experience both sides. 

2. You're always on the brink of exhaustion.
having no other parental figure in the picture means that you, unless you're lucky like me, have few people to take over when you are at your most tired. For some reason, most kids, no matter how little sleep they actually have, wake up rearing to go like the Energizer Bunny. Sometimes I swear, they steal the energy from us adults like little midget gasoline thieves. 

3. Face it, you miss the little fussnugget.
Being a single parent also means that you have to work your patooty off to survive. Even if one is lucky enough to be getting child support, a lot of the time, it's just not enough. Working so much means you get to see your kids a lot less. And, especially when they are very young, you miss things, like milestones. Personally when my Monsterella was an infant, I missed the first time she rolled over because I was working. I got home, found out what happened, and held her tight and balled my eyes out like a prepubescent girl when I got home. 

4. Gotta love it when people pass judgement. 
Sometimes other parents just don't know what it's like. To be lonely, to be exhausted 24/7, and no amount of sleep having helped, to be frustrated, embarrassed, and ashamed of your situation. Being a co-parent is so much more different than being a single working parent. And the worst is when family passes judgement on you. I may not be able to spend the amount of time with my monster that I would like to, but I am proud to say that I have and still am working my way up the ladder to be able to support her on my own. Personally, having had that happen to me recently, made me feel alienated. 

OK, so after that shpiel, lets move onto the Pros of being a Single Mom. :) 

1.No one to discuss how I raise my child with. 
I know that if my daughter's father and I were still together we would be arguing every day about how to raise her, and having 'don't do this' and 'don't do that' discussions every single day until she was eighteen years old. That would get old very fast. However, being a single mother, I don't have to consult with anyone on how to raise her because, ultimately, it's MY decision and no one else's. 

2. No one is more excited to see you every day, except maybe your dog. 
I'm lucky that my daughter is only 3 years old, because I'm sure the way she greets me every day won't last. The sheer joy that covers her beautifully lit up face every time she sees me is something that would warm the heart of even the most cold-hearted person. She runs to me, completely ignoring anything in her way, including the dog, often times hurting herself by accident, to squeal and jump into my arms and cover my face in kisses. That, my friends, is one of the best feelings in the world. 

3. The kids tend to form stronger bonds with family and friends. 
Due to the fact that there is no other parent in the picture, most times, close family and friends like to try to help out with the kids. Cousins become like brothers and sisters, grandma turns out to be like an extra mom, friends aren't just mommy's friends, they are like aunties. The more time the children spend with family and friends, the more intense of a bond they share. That's an important skill to develop for a child without a father present, especially because they don't get to see the bond a couple share on a daily basis. 

4. Plain and simple, I don't have to share her if I don't want to. 
That's an admittedly selfish thing to say, but can you blame me for not wanting to share the love and light she gives me every day with another person? She's my baby, and I love her more than anything in this world. She is my reason for persevering, for being someone worthwhile. I don't know what I would do without her in my life. Plain and simple. I live for her, love and would die for her. 

Thus concludes The Pros and Cons of Being a Single Mother. To any parent who is debating having a child, I assure you, the Pros much outweigh the cons.