But apparently she throws TANTRUMS in her sleep as well LOL
It was about 4 am ish. I was about to get up and get ready for work, and I hear her beginning to stir in her bed. I pay no attention really because this is a common occurrence for her.
And all of a sudden, I hear, "I WANNA WATCH ANOTHER MOVIE!!! RIGHT NOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!!"
My eyes are wide, trying to see in the dimness if she is awake and sitting up. So I walk closer to her bed, only to find, she is completely dead asleep. I pick up her arm, no resistance. I drop it on to the bed, it bounces, but she stays sound asleep. LOL
I suppose she must have been dreaming that I would not let her watch another movie lol
My Monster is HILARIOUS!!!
Monday, July 7, 2014
Saturday, June 28, 2014
Lessons Learned from Little People
I may be an adult physically, and even mentally, but I will tell you, sometimes, I just wanna go back to being a kid and have no worries, except my own.
I was a crazy teenager. Always worried about something, even when it wasn't mine to worry about. When I was 13 years old my mom bought me this book called "Don't sweat the small stuff." It taught me that I don't have to worry about such miniscule things in life. I hope that when my daughter is 13 I can buy it for her as well. And I hope she sees it as a gift and not as a piece of constructive criticism.
here's the link for the book on amazon.com if you are interested in checking it out.
http://www.amazon.com/Dont-Sweat-Small-Stuff-Teens/dp/0786885971/ref=sr_1_7?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1403981303&sr=1-7&keywords=don%27t+sweat+the+small+stuff
Anyways, the whole point of this blog post is to say sometimes you need to be a kid. Learn little child secrets from your kids or other family kids. My daughter takes the time every single day, multiple times even, to give me a giant hug and kiss and say "I love you, mommy." She takes the time to cuddle me when we watch Disney movies together. She enjoys every splash that she makes at the beach and cherishes every seashell she finds. She puts a worth into things that we adults find unworthy of our attentions. Even tiny sticks, leaves, flowers or rocks that she finds pretty. In her mind, she doesn't know yet that everyone has a different thinking process, and that not everyone thinks like her.
I remember the day that I realized that fact. It was heartwrenching. I felt like I died a little bit inside. I just couldn't fathom why people would think in a different manner or way. I could not wrap my brain around it.
Yesterday, a good friend of mine, lets call her Stephanie for privacy's sake, came over and treated Autumn and I to a bout of strawberry picking, and ice cream. On the way to the ice cream place, I had a little kid moment, and I am so glad that I did.
We began to pass a rolling field next to a country house. THAT was beautiful enough, but then I noticed that the fields were covered in purple, red, yellow, white, and orange flowers. It must have been a 2-acre field, blanketed with these beautiful specimens. So awe inspiring that whatever I was saying at that very moment became utterly unimportant. I HAD to stop and see, feel, and smell those flowers.
As soon as Stephanie noticed the look on my face and the pause in my story, she looked in the same direction. I looked at her, my eyebrows furled in a pleading manner, and begged her to stop so we could get close to the flowers. She smiled and said, "Of course, how could we not? You know how cheesy I am."
She pulled over the car onto a side road, and Autumn, Stephanie, and I held hands crossing the street, and walked towards the array of flowers. Pictures, and videos were taken. Autumn sniffed each flower, including the poppies lol And so did we. i could never have visualized such a beautiful sight in my mind as what my eyes perceived that day.
Point of the story is, slow down, sniff the flowers. It's the little things that make life worth living. :)
I was a crazy teenager. Always worried about something, even when it wasn't mine to worry about. When I was 13 years old my mom bought me this book called "Don't sweat the small stuff." It taught me that I don't have to worry about such miniscule things in life. I hope that when my daughter is 13 I can buy it for her as well. And I hope she sees it as a gift and not as a piece of constructive criticism.
here's the link for the book on amazon.com if you are interested in checking it out.
http://www.amazon.com/Dont-Sweat-Small-Stuff-Teens/dp/0786885971/ref=sr_1_7?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1403981303&sr=1-7&keywords=don%27t+sweat+the+small+stuff
Anyways, the whole point of this blog post is to say sometimes you need to be a kid. Learn little child secrets from your kids or other family kids. My daughter takes the time every single day, multiple times even, to give me a giant hug and kiss and say "I love you, mommy." She takes the time to cuddle me when we watch Disney movies together. She enjoys every splash that she makes at the beach and cherishes every seashell she finds. She puts a worth into things that we adults find unworthy of our attentions. Even tiny sticks, leaves, flowers or rocks that she finds pretty. In her mind, she doesn't know yet that everyone has a different thinking process, and that not everyone thinks like her.
I remember the day that I realized that fact. It was heartwrenching. I felt like I died a little bit inside. I just couldn't fathom why people would think in a different manner or way. I could not wrap my brain around it.
Yesterday, a good friend of mine, lets call her Stephanie for privacy's sake, came over and treated Autumn and I to a bout of strawberry picking, and ice cream. On the way to the ice cream place, I had a little kid moment, and I am so glad that I did.
We began to pass a rolling field next to a country house. THAT was beautiful enough, but then I noticed that the fields were covered in purple, red, yellow, white, and orange flowers. It must have been a 2-acre field, blanketed with these beautiful specimens. So awe inspiring that whatever I was saying at that very moment became utterly unimportant. I HAD to stop and see, feel, and smell those flowers.
As soon as Stephanie noticed the look on my face and the pause in my story, she looked in the same direction. I looked at her, my eyebrows furled in a pleading manner, and begged her to stop so we could get close to the flowers. She smiled and said, "Of course, how could we not? You know how cheesy I am."
She pulled over the car onto a side road, and Autumn, Stephanie, and I held hands crossing the street, and walked towards the array of flowers. Pictures, and videos were taken. Autumn sniffed each flower, including the poppies lol And so did we. i could never have visualized such a beautiful sight in my mind as what my eyes perceived that day.
Point of the story is, slow down, sniff the flowers. It's the little things that make life worth living. :)
The Day My Sweet Monsterella Entered the World
After what seemed like a very long drive to the hospital, my mother and I arrived.
The Doctors put the Cervadil inside me around 8 pm. At around 2 am I was awoken by what felt like slight period cramps, but they were enough to keep me up, so I requested something to help me sleep a bit more. They applied the medication intravenously, and within about 30 seconds, my head felt far too heavy for my shoulders, and I literally passed out. It was like lucid dreaming, I could still hear people talking. The only downside to being given that midecation was that it made me vomit a couple hours later. however, i have to give myself some kudos, I made it to the bathroom and managed to throw up into the trash can so there was really no mess to be cleaned.
By the time that 7 am came around I was 4 cm dialated already. Feeling the need to urinate, I got up from the bed, and as I sat up I heard this thick popping noise... I was confused, wondering if this was going to be something out of an alien movie... About 6 minutes later, after I came back from the bathroom and was still peeing somehow, I realized that my water broke all by itself. I called the nurse over to let her know that my water broke, and instead of smiling and telling me that she would alert the doctor, she said, "Oh, ok, so you THINK your water broke?" To which I responded in an irritated manner, "No, I KNOW my water broke..."
My original plans were to not bother with the epidural because I read that it could leave the baby drowsy and drugged for a while after birth, but boy, when those contractions started to become serious, I decided to get the epidural. It creeped me out that they had to insert an IV into my spine to make sure I got a continued dose of the lidocaine, so i asked for my mother to be present. They would not allow it. So I sat there, curved spine, trying not to flinch as the anesthesiologist inserted the catheter into my spine. Ahhhhh, sweet relief. However, it only worked its wonders for about an hour before it wore off, despite another refill of the lidocaine from the anesthesiologist, and only numbed the top of my left thigh. Ridiculously pointless if you ask me.
In the middle of a particularly intense contraction a doctor came in the room to ask me if it was ok to have students in the room during the labor process. Now, I had a birth plan that I had taken the time to type out nicely and had them out it in my folder, and it stated quite obviously that I did not want students to witness the birth. So I interrupted him, and screamed at him from my bed to GTFO. Needless to say, he left the room quickly. LOL now that I think back on the situation, Autumn's birth was so easy compared to a lot of other women, and it would have been beneficial for thoise med students to see it. Besides, once I started pushing, I really didn't give a hoot who was in the room with me, I just wanted that baby, out.
By 9 am I was 8-9 cm dialated. That was also about the time that my cousin/sister Maddy got to the hospital. Ironically enough, she got there before my own midwife did, despite battling a flat tire on the way. LOL
At around 10:30 am, I had to resist the urge to push. I have NEVER felt such a strong urge for ANYTHING my ENTIRE life. Breathing through contractions was difficult, but tensing up made them even worse. My midwife only showed up about 5 minutes before I was about to give up and start pushing without her lol my best friend Wiley actually walked in about 30 seconds before my midwife, hell they were in the elevator at the same time LOL When Wiley saw the amount of pain that I was in, she tried to hold my hand to comfort me. However, i outright refused to because I honestly thought I might break it lol Maddy and Wiley each held one leg up as I was instructed to push.
Swearing like a god damned sailor I started to push, and instantly peed myself lol
Honestly, it felt like I was trying to take the world's biggest crap lol
I passed out for about a minute in between one contraction and another, and when I regained consciousness, I felt no pain, couldn't remember where I was, who anyone was, what I was doing, and honestly it felt as if I had forgotten the English language.... I couldn't understand anything anyone was saying for a good 30 seconds... It was like a complete system reboot. Once fully conscious I asked them to repeat what they said. The room was extremely HOT, so I was eating ice chips (and then vomiting them back up again minutes later), and being wiped down with a cool cloth by my amazing mother.
After a few more pushes, I told the midwife and the doctor that I was getting dizzy again, and they got the oxygen mask ready for me just in case.
I don't think I have EVER said the F word so much in such a short span of time lol I felt bad because I'm sure that I scared the daylights out of the other pregnant woman who I came in with at the same time lol
I almost passed out one more time, and then just got very angry and determined, held my legs with my arms and PUSHED like HELL! I felt her head and then all of the sudden the rest of her come out all at once, arms, legs, shoulders... everything. I thought the Doctor pulled her out by her head like in so many birth stories, however, unlike so many birth stories, she shot out like a rocket all by herself, the Dr and Sue had to catch her lol)
They plopped her right on my chest, and I was in shock. She was beautiful even though she was covered in pasty white stuff... And as soon as she heard my voice, she became very quiet.
They pushed on my belly so that they could help me push out the placenta. Now this next part is a tad bit odd, but if you know me, I AM ODD lol I asked to touch it. It looked like a liver lol and was weirdly still warm even though it was in a cold metal bowl...
What felt like hours to me, was in all actuality, only 20 minutes of pushing time. LOL I expect much envy lol
I named her Autumn Celeste Brooks - Carter. Weight: 5 lbs 9.5 oz Length: 19.25" long. Simply gorgeous.
***If I missed any part of this, for the people that were there, please comment and let me know, as I dont remember EVERYTHING lol****
Thursday, June 26, 2014
The Pros and Cons of Single Motherhood
Motherhood is a beautiful thing; between the unconditional love and endless happiness your child gives you, you should be set for life. Granted it's not all butterfly kisses and unicorn farts, sometimes there are moments of utter frustration and despair. Hopefully, for all of my fellow mothers out there, the good outweighs the bad.
On occasion, I envy those who have another parent in the picture to help out. I would assume things would be less stressful and busy, but how would I really know?
Now to get down to the nitty and gritty. I'm absolutely not an optimist, more so when it comes to evaluating my own life. So I will start by listing the cons of being a single mom.
1. There is no one to play Good Cop/Bad Cop with.
Due to the fact that there is no other parent in the picture to help out as much, there are no roles to play individually as mommy and daddy. Unfortunately, as single mothers, we have to be the one who disciplines as well as the one who comforts and cuddles the child. I'm almost positive that being in that kind of situation would confuse a child growing up. It can be heart wrenching for both the mother and the child to have to be or experience both sides.
2. You're always on the brink of exhaustion.
having no other parental figure in the picture means that you, unless you're lucky like me, have few people to take over when you are at your most tired. For some reason, most kids, no matter how little sleep they actually have, wake up rearing to go like the Energizer Bunny. Sometimes I swear, they steal the energy from us adults like little midget gasoline thieves.
3. Face it, you miss the little fussnugget.
Being a single parent also means that you have to work your patooty off to survive. Even if one is lucky enough to be getting child support, a lot of the time, it's just not enough. Working so much means you get to see your kids a lot less. And, especially when they are very young, you miss things, like milestones. Personally when my Monsterella was an infant, I missed the first time she rolled over because I was working. I got home, found out what happened, and held her tight and balled my eyes out like a prepubescent girl when I got home.
4. Gotta love it when people pass judgement.
Sometimes other parents just don't know what it's like. To be lonely, to be exhausted 24/7, and no amount of sleep having helped, to be frustrated, embarrassed, and ashamed of your situation. Being a co-parent is so much more different than being a single working parent. And the worst is when family passes judgement on you. I may not be able to spend the amount of time with my monster that I would like to, but I am proud to say that I have and still am working my way up the ladder to be able to support her on my own. Personally, having had that happen to me recently, made me feel alienated.
OK, so after that shpiel, lets move onto the Pros of being a Single Mom. :)
1.No one to discuss how I raise my child with.
I know that if my daughter's father and I were still together we would be arguing every day about how to raise her, and having 'don't do this' and 'don't do that' discussions every single day until she was eighteen years old. That would get old very fast. However, being a single mother, I don't have to consult with anyone on how to raise her because, ultimately, it's MY decision and no one else's.
2. No one is more excited to see you every day, except maybe your dog.
I'm lucky that my daughter is only 3 years old, because I'm sure the way she greets me every day won't last. The sheer joy that covers her beautifully lit up face every time she sees me is something that would warm the heart of even the most cold-hearted person. She runs to me, completely ignoring anything in her way, including the dog, often times hurting herself by accident, to squeal and jump into my arms and cover my face in kisses. That, my friends, is one of the best feelings in the world.
3. The kids tend to form stronger bonds with family and friends.
Due to the fact that there is no other parent in the picture, most times, close family and friends like to try to help out with the kids. Cousins become like brothers and sisters, grandma turns out to be like an extra mom, friends aren't just mommy's friends, they are like aunties. The more time the children spend with family and friends, the more intense of a bond they share. That's an important skill to develop for a child without a father present, especially because they don't get to see the bond a couple share on a daily basis.
4. Plain and simple, I don't have to share her if I don't want to.
That's an admittedly selfish thing to say, but can you blame me for not wanting to share the love and light she gives me every day with another person? She's my baby, and I love her more than anything in this world. She is my reason for persevering, for being someone worthwhile. I don't know what I would do without her in my life. Plain and simple. I live for her, love and would die for her.
Thus concludes The Pros and Cons of Being a Single Mother. To any parent who is debating having a child, I assure you, the Pros much outweigh the cons.
On occasion, I envy those who have another parent in the picture to help out. I would assume things would be less stressful and busy, but how would I really know?
Now to get down to the nitty and gritty. I'm absolutely not an optimist, more so when it comes to evaluating my own life. So I will start by listing the cons of being a single mom.
1. There is no one to play Good Cop/Bad Cop with.
Due to the fact that there is no other parent in the picture to help out as much, there are no roles to play individually as mommy and daddy. Unfortunately, as single mothers, we have to be the one who disciplines as well as the one who comforts and cuddles the child. I'm almost positive that being in that kind of situation would confuse a child growing up. It can be heart wrenching for both the mother and the child to have to be or experience both sides.
2. You're always on the brink of exhaustion.
having no other parental figure in the picture means that you, unless you're lucky like me, have few people to take over when you are at your most tired. For some reason, most kids, no matter how little sleep they actually have, wake up rearing to go like the Energizer Bunny. Sometimes I swear, they steal the energy from us adults like little midget gasoline thieves.
3. Face it, you miss the little fussnugget.
Being a single parent also means that you have to work your patooty off to survive. Even if one is lucky enough to be getting child support, a lot of the time, it's just not enough. Working so much means you get to see your kids a lot less. And, especially when they are very young, you miss things, like milestones. Personally when my Monsterella was an infant, I missed the first time she rolled over because I was working. I got home, found out what happened, and held her tight and balled my eyes out like a prepubescent girl when I got home.
4. Gotta love it when people pass judgement.
Sometimes other parents just don't know what it's like. To be lonely, to be exhausted 24/7, and no amount of sleep having helped, to be frustrated, embarrassed, and ashamed of your situation. Being a co-parent is so much more different than being a single working parent. And the worst is when family passes judgement on you. I may not be able to spend the amount of time with my monster that I would like to, but I am proud to say that I have and still am working my way up the ladder to be able to support her on my own. Personally, having had that happen to me recently, made me feel alienated.
OK, so after that shpiel, lets move onto the Pros of being a Single Mom. :)
1.No one to discuss how I raise my child with.
I know that if my daughter's father and I were still together we would be arguing every day about how to raise her, and having 'don't do this' and 'don't do that' discussions every single day until she was eighteen years old. That would get old very fast. However, being a single mother, I don't have to consult with anyone on how to raise her because, ultimately, it's MY decision and no one else's.
2. No one is more excited to see you every day, except maybe your dog.
I'm lucky that my daughter is only 3 years old, because I'm sure the way she greets me every day won't last. The sheer joy that covers her beautifully lit up face every time she sees me is something that would warm the heart of even the most cold-hearted person. She runs to me, completely ignoring anything in her way, including the dog, often times hurting herself by accident, to squeal and jump into my arms and cover my face in kisses. That, my friends, is one of the best feelings in the world.
3. The kids tend to form stronger bonds with family and friends.
Due to the fact that there is no other parent in the picture, most times, close family and friends like to try to help out with the kids. Cousins become like brothers and sisters, grandma turns out to be like an extra mom, friends aren't just mommy's friends, they are like aunties. The more time the children spend with family and friends, the more intense of a bond they share. That's an important skill to develop for a child without a father present, especially because they don't get to see the bond a couple share on a daily basis.
4. Plain and simple, I don't have to share her if I don't want to.
That's an admittedly selfish thing to say, but can you blame me for not wanting to share the love and light she gives me every day with another person? She's my baby, and I love her more than anything in this world. She is my reason for persevering, for being someone worthwhile. I don't know what I would do without her in my life. Plain and simple. I live for her, love and would die for her.
Thus concludes The Pros and Cons of Being a Single Mother. To any parent who is debating having a child, I assure you, the Pros much outweigh the cons.
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
What Happens When My Monsterette is Bored
My mini me monster is now 3 years old. She is the love of my life, however, there are times, where she just KNOWS how and when to push my buttons.
Times like a few weeks ago. We were at a lake edge fishing with my boyfriend. Having been there for a few hours, my lovely daughter, Autumn, decided she was very bored. After having told her she didn't run things and was not the boss, she folded her arms across her chest, sat at the edge of the dock and pouted for about fifteen minutes.
I turned around to continue fishing for a few minutes, cast out the line, and waited for a few minutes. Just as I got a nibble, I heard a very distinct 'plop' in the water on one corner of the deck. I slowly turned my head to the side, to see Autumn smiling devilishly, open hand over the water. "Oops," she said still smiling. "I don't like the way you said that," I said to her, grimacing at what I saw as I walked past her. Her brand new black and pink sneaker was floating in the water.
I squinted my eyes and turned to frown at her, but she wasn't there. She had already moved to the other side of the dock, and had her hand out over the water again. By the time I uttered the first "No!" in my string of nos at her, she had already dropped the matching shoe into the water on the opposite side of the dock.
Hellion, beast, brat... the list of names for her went on and on in my head.... I was so upset. Sometimes it sucks having such a smart child. She knew that by acting up and upsetting me, we would leave almost immediately, and she was right.
I climbed down into the grassy edge of the water beneath the deck, and retrieved her shoes, with much effort. Kept an eye out for snakes and turtles, especially snappers.
After I climbed back up onto the dock, I grabbed her hand and led her back to the car. My boyfriend could not believe she did that, his thoughts of her as innocent, were murdered. After kissing my incredulous boyfriend good bye, Autumn and I left. And I banned her to her room for a couple hours.
Do you know what she did while she was in her room?? That little brat cuddled into her bed, and fell asleep... Le sigh.
What did I learn in this instance? Never let a devious smart child be bored.
Times like a few weeks ago. We were at a lake edge fishing with my boyfriend. Having been there for a few hours, my lovely daughter, Autumn, decided she was very bored. After having told her she didn't run things and was not the boss, she folded her arms across her chest, sat at the edge of the dock and pouted for about fifteen minutes.
I turned around to continue fishing for a few minutes, cast out the line, and waited for a few minutes. Just as I got a nibble, I heard a very distinct 'plop' in the water on one corner of the deck. I slowly turned my head to the side, to see Autumn smiling devilishly, open hand over the water. "Oops," she said still smiling. "I don't like the way you said that," I said to her, grimacing at what I saw as I walked past her. Her brand new black and pink sneaker was floating in the water.
I squinted my eyes and turned to frown at her, but she wasn't there. She had already moved to the other side of the dock, and had her hand out over the water again. By the time I uttered the first "No!" in my string of nos at her, she had already dropped the matching shoe into the water on the opposite side of the dock.
Hellion, beast, brat... the list of names for her went on and on in my head.... I was so upset. Sometimes it sucks having such a smart child. She knew that by acting up and upsetting me, we would leave almost immediately, and she was right.
I climbed down into the grassy edge of the water beneath the deck, and retrieved her shoes, with much effort. Kept an eye out for snakes and turtles, especially snappers.
After I climbed back up onto the dock, I grabbed her hand and led her back to the car. My boyfriend could not believe she did that, his thoughts of her as innocent, were murdered. After kissing my incredulous boyfriend good bye, Autumn and I left. And I banned her to her room for a couple hours.
Do you know what she did while she was in her room?? That little brat cuddled into her bed, and fell asleep... Le sigh.
What did I learn in this instance? Never let a devious smart child be bored.
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